Jack's story so far ……
(by Hilary
Fletcher)
February 2002:
On 8 September 2001 our son Jack, now
19, accidentally fell 20ft through a roof skylight onto a concrete
floor, resulting in a fractured skull and 50% spinal cord compression
(at level T12 for those who understand such things). After various body
scans at our local hospital he was taken, semi-conscious, to the High
Dependency unit at Charing Cross's Neurology Dept where he was monitored
carefully. His condition worsened and it was discovered that the right
side of his brain was haemorrghing, so he was rushed into surgery for
what turned out to be a temporal lobectomy. The op was very long
and went well but the days afterwards in Intensive Care didn't, in that
despite all efforts to help him the swelling in his brain wouldn't
subside. At this stage he was in a drug-induced coma and when all that
could be done had been, he was slowly taken off sedation.
A few days of waiting ensued (felt like
years) during which it was hoped he would come back round and also
during which we were given a brief respite from all the misery by being
told his neck wasn’t broken, which had been a major concern. But he
didn't come round ..... he wasn't technically brain dead as there was
still a very tiny bit of brain stem activity and although on life
support he was also able to breathe minimally for himself, but his
only responses were reflex ones and his brain was registering nothing.
We were told at this point that he
was in a vegetative state and that it could take days, weeks or months
for him to die. We were also asked how we felt about donating his
organs. We went home late that night having been advised to tell his
brother (15) all this in order to give him the option of coming to the
hospital to ‘say goodbye’. My sister & her family live very near
to us and I’ll leave it to your imagination as to how we all felt that
night, or indeed at any point along this whole journey.
Two days later, to the astonishment of
the staff, Jack moved a hand very slightly in response to a command.
When we then visited him he squeezed our own hands and though still ‘under’,
did so in a way that told us he knew it was us. To say it was quite a
moment would be a massive understatement. From there on he slowly
regained full consciousness and his brain function gradually restored to
an excellent extent, his sense of humour being one of the first things
to return. We had previously been told that he would never walk again,
although just at the end of his time in Intensive Care a small response
was recorded in his right leg where before there had been none. He
was then moved out of ITU to the Neurology Ward where he stayed on a
special spinal bed for many weeks.
On the night he was moved an unfortunate
incident occurred on the new floor in that a female patient with a brain
condition suddenly decided, out of the blue and for no reason personal
to Gary, to punch his dad in the face – he was carrying stuff at the
time and didn’t have a chance to defend himself! His jaw was painful
for several weeks afterwards. There were also armed police floating
around the floor in relation to a separate patient. Hugging his jaw,
Gary demanded that Jack be returned to the safety of the one-to-one care
of ITU, but after a bit of room-juggling was eventually convinced by the
staff that the Neurology floor was the best place for him. Luckily, Jack
was fairly oblivious to all of this going on!
He was put in a special isolated room to
try & help protect him from the MRSA ‘superbug’ which highly
vulnerable patients are at risk of picking up, certain strains of which
are resistant to several antibiotics. He continued to be fed
intravenously for a long time but eventually began to start taking
drinks, soup etc. although getting him to eat anything was a major
struggle/worry for many weeks. Eventually when the time was right he
underwent another major operation, this time on his back. Titanium bolts
were put in in order to stabilise it so that he would be able to sit up
straight, although we knew this op wasn’t going to improve his
prospects for walking again. The bolts are between the vertebrae above
and below the one which had gone out of line and which is still now crushing
his spinal cord. The cord is too delicate a beast to take risks with so
this was the best they could do for him, at this moment in time anyway.
After his initial recovery he moved rooms several times within his stay
on the Neurology floor.
Despite the obvious relief factor of his
‘miracle’ return to life, as both a would-be professional drummer
& guitarist/songwriter/producer who had studied music at college,
Jack’s outlook was not a happy one – his left hand was too weak to
play the guitar, and his legs didn’t work so drumming seemed an
impossible option, which for someone who had been playing since he was
seven was not a happy scenario.
On top of this he’d picked up three
potentially dangerous pressure sores, one on the back of his head, one
at the lower part of his back, and one on the back of his heel, the
latter being so serious he eventually had to have yet another operation.
He was due to be transferred to a spinal unit as soon as possible but no
places were available and whilst waiting was sent back to our local
hospital for several weeks, spending some time on the Orthopaedic ward
and some in the Stroke Rehab unit where physio facilities were
available. During both the latter weeks in Charing Cross and his time at
West Middlesex he suffered a lot of nausea/sickness, but also had some better
days when he was able to start undergoing physio. At both hospitals he
had also been allowed out often into the local area (and pubs!) in a
wheelchair with us and his friends. Throughout this period he had a lot
of support/visitors which made the most enormous difference to his
spirits, and for which we are all very grateful, as we are for all the
cards etc received along the way. Many of his friends came to the
hospital/pub to help him celebrate his 19th birthday.
In addition to this, The Blues Band/GTA
and the Landmark Theatre in Teddington (near to where we live) kindly
pulled out all the stops to put a fundraising gig together at very short
notice. Gary wasn’t sure if he’d feel able to play on the night and
Marcus Cliffe was waiting in reserve, but he was buoyed along enough to
do so as a result of the enormous amount of community spirit and warmth
passed on to us all. Emotions were also perhaps heightened a little
generally as a result of the New York events three days after Jack’s
accident. Some of Jack’s musician friends (the excellent Jay Taylor,
Nathan Blundy & Tom Baeppler) with whom he’d worked
part-time at a local music shop while at college, also performed a few
numbers, along with other musician friends of ours (Lou Stonebridge
& Steve Vandella). I was with Jack at
the hospital on the night so missed the show but heard good things from
those who attended and sat here blubbing like a baby when I later
watched the video that friends of Jack’s had recorded, and which he
later watched for himself in hospital. The money raised from the concert
was very much appreciated …. just knowing it was there has helped us
all cope that little bit better along the way and we are sincerely
grateful to any and all who contributed.
On 10 November he was finally
transferred to the spinal unit at Salisbury District Hospital, which is
an hour & a half from where we live and is an excellent facility.
When he first arrived, the staff were extremely unhappy that his skin
had been allowed to get to the stage it had and told us we had a case
for suing Charing Cross, as if we needed that headache on top of
everything else. (We are only now finding the time/emotional strength to
investigate this issue as questions still need to be answered). Jack was
immediately put on total bed rest, being turned every three hours day
and night, until just before Christmas when the wound on his back was
finally deemed healed enough to allow him to once again use a
wheelchair. This delay was obviously an extremely demoralising setback
for him and a big shock to us all, but Jack made the best of it as he
always tries to. It also meant a vast amount of our time being given
over to driving back & forth to Salisbury and/or staying at the unit
– which is only possible if other more "acute" patients’
relatives don’t have priority on the limited accommodation.
The Blues Band/Manfreds tour started the
day before Jack’s transfer so you can imagine how tricky things were,
especially when our motorhome, which would have helped this situation
enormously, was suddenly stolen. (No, it’s never been found). With the
support of family and friends, somehow we all muddled through, but it
was obviously very tough for Jack being confined to bed for so long
after having previously been mobile. We then spent Christmas and New
Year together as a family staying at the unit – which meant hospital
food for Xmas lunch …. lovely, especially as Gary forgot to tick the
vegetable section on the order form so we ended up without any! The
whole experience was surprisingly enjoyable though, not least because of
the caring attitudes of the staff, many of whom dressed up as fairies on
New Year’s Eve (males included!) Click on thumbnail to see
Jack's midnight moment ...
Whilst lying on his side in bed for so
long, Jack somehow managed to practise the guitar a lot, with his dad
joining him often in order to help work up some cover songs with him. He
also eventually discovered a singing voice he hadn’t really used
before, is now learning to play the harmonica and is writing songs
around his experiences. Despite a couple of remaining dexterity problems
which we believe will improve in time, Jack has worked his left hand to
the point where he & his dad were able to put on a short concert at
the unit which went down very well. In fact Jack enjoyed it so much and
felt so relaxed, at the end of it when he put his guitar down he went to
stand up before remembering that he couldn’t!
It didn’t bother him
though as he was on a high from the evening.
Visitors to the Salisbury unit have
obviously been much less readily available than when Jack was closer to
home, but some of his friends have managed to get down periodically, and
my parents and sister etc have been an amazing support throughout, along
with some of our friends. Gary’s family live some considerable
distance away but we all stay in touch.
I’m writing this on 25 Feb 02 and as of
last week Jack has now finally been allowed to stand in the gym using
the parallel bars, although his heel wound is still mending and his foot
has to be padded up. Pelvic/balance work and muscle building using
weights are also the general order of the day and in addition he is now
able to use the gym bicycle. He is expected to be able to walk to some
degree in the future but a lot of very hard work over a long period
still needs to be done first. There are also other aspects of spinal
cord injury which he has been learning to deal with and which are
improving for him bit by bit. He’s had a few day-only visits home over
the last few weeks, plus we have stayed with him occasionally in a flat
they have within the unit, and then this weekend just gone he spent two
nights at home for the first time, which all went really well.
Thankfully,
and somewhat astonishingly bearing in mind initial fears &
expectations, he has been able to play his drums again to a very
substantial degree. Endurance/stamina will be taxing issues for him,
however, not to mention the transporting of his gear, but for now he is
just happy that his body is managing to do what it can.
Very many of the other patients in the
unit are worse off than him in terms of both their physical
(in)capabilities and in some cases their mental attitudes to them, so in
that sense at least, Jack is actually one of the ‘lucky’ ones.
Unfortunately his sense of smell and taste have been affected by the
head injury, which not only means mealtimes are less enjoyable, but this
change could be a danger for the future as he is unable to smell gas,
smoke, spoiled or burning food etc., and we will be looking into what,
if anything, can be done about this. This and the very slight dexterity
problem in his left hand appear to be the only remaining problems from
the brain injury, the clinical psychologist at the unit having given him
a clean bill of health. He certainly seems to have no problem dishing
our sarky quips about his mother when he wants to!
It’s been a very grim five months or
so but we’re looking forwards rather than backwards, as we’ve tried
to do throughout. Aside from the almost-certainly-unnecessary bedsore
problems and the ordeal of waiting for a place at a spinal unit, we’ve
been generally impressed with the service we’ve received from the NHS.
The team in Intensive Care particularly humbled us, but very many of the
staff we’ve met along the way have been as caring, patient and
efficient as we could have possibly hoped for. We’ve also seen a
maturity come through in Billy, Jack’s brother, who dealt very bravely
with the earlier emotional turmoil, this all having occurred during a
school year when he’ll soon be taking his GCSEs.
So then, a long way still to go but
things could definitely be very much worse. One of the more ironic
memories for me thus far is that of sitting with Jack one day in a
section of the café at Charing Cross Hospital where internet access was
available. Several weeks before, on the day after the ‘black night’
when we’d been told that we’d more or less lost him, I’d spoken to
a few of his friends who’d been waiting for news and passed on to them
what we’d been told. Unfortunately somewhere along the way a few wires
got crossed and not only did the message get out around our local area
that Jack had actually died, but lots of people gathered that night in a
local pub to mourn him. (We also received quite a few ‘In sympathy’
cards). But back to the café. Jack was having a good day and decided to
check his e-mail for the first time in ages. And what did he find but
one which had been sent round by one particular friend to all his
others, announcing his death – and Jack’s own e-mail address was
included in the group’s addresses! In typically good humoured style,
Jack immediately set about replying with a "Reports of my death
have been greatly exaggerated" type response ……..
That's all for now then - sorry it's
been such a long read, I do have a tendency to ramble. And
there'll be more to follow as I'll update it in
due course. Thanks again to everyone for their support and
kindness .... we've suffered the blues & then some, but we're comin'
through 'em!
Much
love,
Hilary
"Life is what happens when you’re
busy making other plans." - John Lennon
UPDATE 8/3/02:
Since
I last wrote Jack has been coming home weekends (and sleeping in his own
bed which we moved downstairs), during which time he's
not only socialised with his friends again but on one occasion managed
to sustain, with periodic breaks, a rehearsal session with some musician
friends. One night he also
went with some friends to the pub at the end of our road, discovered the
band that had been booked had failed to show up, offered to step in and
play a few acoustic numbers with his dad (!), then tore back to our house
(in his chair of course) to grab Gary, who after a LOT of persuading
because they hadn't rehearsed enough at that point, joined him to play a
short set! It went down very
well and everyone was singing along by the end of it.
Last
week I sat in on one of Jack's physio sessions and watched him walk,
holding on to the parallel bars, about eight large steps. His left
foot was wobbly and very weak and it took him a little while but it was
obviously a good moment for us all. He is also now able to stand
unaided for about 30 seconds, although his balance still needs to be
worked on.
Unfortunately
Jack is currently unwell with a bladder infection, common amongst spinal
patients, and won't be coming home this weekend. He's had
temperature fluctuations and been feeling wiped out enough to not want
to move from bed. To hopefully avoid the need for an antibiotic
drip and to flush out the infection, he has to drink five litres of
fluid a day for five days, and as of today is starting to feel a little
better. Had this hiccup not occurred, he was due this week to be
moved to a different 'ward' a floor below where he is currently, in
which everyone has their own bedroom but shares a living room, and there
is no nursing on hand. Hopefully this will still happen in the
near future as he is now generally deemed 'independent' and is staying
at the unit mostly just for the specialist physiotherapy.
All
for now then, other than some photos, taken a few weeks ago by my dad on
one of my parents' many visits to Jack:
UPDATE
Sun 17/3:
Jack
is back in healthy/perky form and home again for the weekend. He
moved into his new accommodation at the unit this week, which is
spacious, comfortable and really quite nice. There are currently
three patients sharing it, two of whom will be leaving soon. When
my sister & I visited the other day one of them was showing Jack his latest trick,
ie tipping his wheelchair backwards and catching the floor with his
hands. It's only a matter of time before Jack tries it!
I
wasn't there for this one but Jack's
latest physio session was good in that he walked, holding onto a zimmer
frame* (behind him), for a distance of about 20ft across the gym several
times without too much difficulty, but with the help of an ankle support
inside his shoe. *Gary said this now qualifies him to be able to
attend Blues Band concerts!!
The
big cheese consultant at Charing Cross phoned me this week after my
having sent him a letter weeks ago wanting a proper explanation in
regard to Jack's pressure sores. He said it was all being
investigated and that an 'official response' will be forthcoming in due
course. The sound of his voice threw me straight back to our
darkest hours and I was shaking when I came off the phone. He
also reiterated that it was astonishing Jack was walking in any fashion
at all after such a serious injury, and that the norm for a patient with
his particular set of medical circumstances wouldn't even be survival
.... nothing new that I was listening to here, and yet disturbing to
hear all over again, despite the fact that not a day goes by when we
don't appreciate how far Jack's come.
We
all just wish some of the others at the unit were as 'lucky' as Jack's
turned out to have been. Spinal cord injury is a very complicated
& serious beast, and some of Jack's new friends there have deeply
difficult ongoing problems to contend with. For what it's worth,
our respect goes to every one of them.
Thanks
again to everyone who's written to Arone with messages for us and to
those of you who come up to Gary at gigs and enquire after Jack.
It's very kind of you to remember. Keeping
this 'diary' up means I have some kind of record of everything ....
somehow it feels important for
me to do that, although I'm not sure why. Perhaps because sometimes the
whole thing seems so unreal (and of course at others, too real).
Or perhaps
because the tale might be useful one day to somebody else. Or perhaps because I
just love the sound of my own 'voice'. Yes, very
probably the last one!
Hilary
UPDATE
Mon 15/4:
Hi
there. I know that some BB fans have still been asking Gary how
Jack's doing so here's the latest.
His
discharge date of 8 May now seems to be pretty definite. Since I
last wrote he's been making slow but steady progress with his physio at
the unit, including both walking across the hydropool (difficult!)
and tackling stairs, and this week will be given a set of
crutches to use around the flat down there. When he comes home he'll
return to sleeping in his room which is right at the top of our house -
a long slow journey for him using crutches and hand rails yet to be
installed.
His
left foot still has only minimal sensation and will likely stay that way
until a cure comes along, but we never rule anything out; in the
meantime he now wears a tailor-made silicone ankle support which he
finds helpful. He's now permitted to go down to
our basement studio by means of sitting on the stairs (those stairs are
dangerous to walk down even for us!),
as long as he uses some sort of padding as his skin is still
susceptible. This now means he can start recording the music he's
been writing along the way, which will be great for him. Unfortunately this also means that Gary
and I won't now get a look-in in terms of using the studio ourselves. Hmmmm.
Once
Jack's discharged he'll be receiving physio locally, although just
getting around the house on crutches will be the best exercise for him
from now on. He needs to build up endurance in this area, which
will take time as his muscles are still obviously weak. His
application for accessible local housing is being processed (he'll need
to use his wheelchair for a very long while yet) but we have no idea
when this might come about. We've also yet to receive the
'official response' from Charing Cross re his bedsores.
That's
about it for now, other than to add the following photos which were
taken a couple of weeks back during Jack's first rehearsal with his
band, Aphid, since the accident. Gary was there for this and said
it was one of THE magic moments in his life, as when they struck up it
was as if the band had never been apart! (Well nearly!)
Transporting his drums, setting them up etc etc isn't exactly simple
these days (especially as he won't be able to return to driving for some
while yet) but the boy can play, and play well, an outcome that six
months ago .... well, I was going to say we didn't even dare dream of,
but we did, because Jack himself never doubted he would get back behind
his kit, and who were we to argue?
Hilary
"We
are confronted with insurmountable opportunities." - Walt Kelly
UPDATE
Sun 5/5:
Only
five days to go now until Jack comes home for good!
His bed has been moved out
of our living room and is back in his room at the top of the house,
where he slept last night for the first time since the accident, and
he's able to get up & down the stairs without too much difficulty
now that the handrails have been installed. He's been using
crutches a fair bit in the flat at the unit and has also been trying out
using two sticks, which is harder than crutches but he can do it.
It'll be more of the same during his final week, plus a pub outing with
his friends down there. It'll be sad for us all to say goodbye to
the staff, who've been brilliant. What hasn't been brilliant this
end is all the endless form-filling & letter-writing that Gary's had
to do over the last couple of months (I've somehow managed to avoid that
one!) in order to claim any benefits
Jack's entitled to. It all takes up SO much time.
Anyway
that's about it for now. I'll post more after we've celebrated on
Friday!!
Hilary
UPDATE
Tues 4/6:
Nearly
a month since I last posted .... I didn't say in that last post that we
were having a surprise welcome home party for Jack, just in case he
happened to read it on the site beforehand, but the day he came home was
really EXCELLENT. A tiny taste of it is shown in the composite picture
on the left below (some of which is taken from stills from a video).
After saying his goodbyes & thank-yous at the unit he was driven by
Gary back home to a raptuous welcome .... we weren't sure how many
people would turn out but all we can say is thank God it didn't rain, as
without the use of our garden I don't know where on earth we would have
put everyone who turned up. As Jack got out of the car he was grinning
like a Cheshire cat and was clearly bemused to see almost everyone he'd
ever known cheering and clapping - it was truly wonderful. He even had
(cheap!) champagne thrown over him.
My sister and friends prepared tons of fantastic food & my 13 year
old niece made a wonderful cake (see below).
When
asked to make a speech Jack responded in his typically nonplussed but
tongue-in-cheek manner, "Well. This is a surprise." And
that was it until a few hours & a few drinks later when he was heard
thanking everyone for all their support and saying, "Actually I
quite enjoyed my time in hospital". He meant the spinal unit, and
although in the cold light of day the word 'enjoy' might not quite be
the word he'd choose, it's a testament to the staff at the unit that he
felt that way.
People
have asked me how we've adjusted to having Jack home and I have to say
that it's been reasonably trouble-free, and obviously just good to have
him back. There were a couple of days in the first week where he was
kicking his heels a bit but since then he's been occupied with all sorts
of things, such as mixing and finally finishing his first proper album
with Aphid, the band he's in, which they were in the middle of doing
when the accident happened, plus he's had various appointments with
various professionals related to either his health or his income or his
transport arrangements. We're waiting for news re his accommodation -
he's at the top of the list and will get the first suitable one bed
ground floor flat that becomes available. This could happen in a week or
a year's time, no-one can say. He hasn't had any physio yet but
will start some soon and is also about to join a local gym. He's on a
waiting list to see a specialist re his smell/taste problems, and we're
also STILL waiting for a response from Charing Cross re his pressure
sores.
Latterly
Jack's also been rehearsing with Gary, my sister and myself for an
acoustic set we performed at the Jubilee street party that our road
organised this Sunday just gone (Gary playing guitar, Jack playing
guitar & bass, me attempting the tambourine, all four of us singing
- see below for pics of the boys in action). None of us are keen Royalists but the community spirit aspect
was once again fantastic and our set went down tremendously - I think we
caught everyone at just the right moment .... it was twilight, the fairy
lights had just come on, everyone was half-cut and more than ready to
bop! They're now talking about
wanting to make it an annual event, so The Relatives have one potential
gig for next year at least!
As
for the future, Jack has a few irons in the fire as regards some
potential training/work in a recording studio but that still needs
sorting out. He also has a couple of potential options in terms of
playing live acoustically in pubs, plus the Aphid album is likely to do
well as their last offering sold out very quickly - all funds from that
will go back into the band kitty though .... the band have so far been
following The Blues Band's example and keeping everything as much under
their control as possible.
Obviously
life isn't straightforward for Jack at all and everything takes that bit
more thought and time to organise than for 'normal' people, but he has
an extremely independent spirit & a go-for-it attitude, and he won't
allow his condition to hold him back any more than necessary. He's
recently been talking about wanting to try riding a bike - no, not an
exercise one in a gym, but a real one!
I nearly had a fit when he said it, but he insists he could probably do
it - obviously not without someone with him every step of the way, and
on GRASS!!
Well
that's more or less it except for one nice little extra mention, which
is that during his last week at the unit Jack met a girl who was also
staying at the hospital and they hit it off. They've phoned each other
pretty much daily since, and he's going back down to see her today for
the first time since he left. (He's even going to be cooking a meal for
her apparently - no sense of smell/taste .... rather her than me!!)
I
doubt I'll write a whole lot more on this page from now on, perhaps the
very occasional update, so for now I'll once again just say a big thank
you to everyone on behalf of us all for your support and kindness. The
wheelchair Jack's been provided with is nothing like as light as the one
he'd been used to at Salisbury, so he's just spent some of the money
raised at the Landmark concert on upgrading it to a better one, which
will help him get up hills & whatnot that much easier. He's also
about to buy a rack for his drumkit which will make transporting and
setting it up a lot easier for him. He's asked me to say thank you to
everyone on his behalf, and as he'll be helping to run the Blues Band
merchandise stall once or twice in Danny's absence this summer, do say
hello if you see him!
Hilary
Homecoming:
Street party 'gig':
UPDATE
Thur 15/8:
Hi
there. Well it's over two months since I last wrote, most of which
time has been spent renovating the one bedroomed flat our local council
helped provide for Jack, and which he moved into last week. He
struck lucky in that it's close to where we live and is in a reasonable
block with nice communal gardens, but it was a monster of a place to
decorate as the old guy previously living there had smoked for England
and the whole place was heavily nicotine-stained. It looks (&
smells) vastly different now, however, and really is quite the bachelor
pad.
For
us as parents it's been quite an emotional week having him move out but
he seems to be coping very well so far. Just before he moved he
also flew out to Amsterdam for a four day music-related trip with his
mates which he enjoyed. This was despite the pressure sore on his
heel having flared up again, meaning he's been forced to stay off his
feet again for a while. Before this he had reached the point where
he was just starting to walk with one stick and had been able to bring
through a drink for me from the kitchen, which was a real achievement
for him. Unfortunately this new way of walking aggravated the skin
on his heel, which is always going to be vulnerable, and on top of his
splint he may now have to wear an extra heel protector
permanently. We did FINALLY receive a full acknowledgement &
apology from Charing Cross over the skin issue but we still all wish it
had been dealt with better at the time.
Despite
the foregoing Jack has been able to play one or two gigs with both the
bands he's involved with. Aphid have just released their new CD
and the first gig that the band have played since the accident
(which was at Sounds in Leicester Square) went really well, & as a
result the promoters have booked them for other gigs elsewhere.
Jack is also rehearsing a lot with his dad for their duo set and they've
been booked to play at forthcoming events. His plans to record his
solo album had to be put on hold for a while but he will start this very
soon.
We're
all waiting to hear from the DVLC as to when he can have his driving
licence reinstated (he's been required after his head injury to have a
year free of epileptic fits before resuming driving, which he's had), as
his being able to drive again - albeit an automatic these days - will
make an enormous difference to his life.
Finally,
some of you may have actually met Jack at the Emmetts Gardens gig in
Sevenoaks quite recently when he helped Shirley out behind the
merchandising stall, which he thoroughly enjoyed.
That's
all for now then. It's been nice to be able to have found a moment
to write this as life has been incredibly hectic for us all of
late. Let's just say I don't want to see a paintbrush again for a
VERY long time ....
love Hilary
UPDATE Mon 14/10:
Just a quickie while I'm updating the Tour Dates page to
say that Jack's pleased as punch as he's recently just got his own car
and is back driving again. The one year anniversary of his accident came
and went WITH incident ... a friend of his accidentally phoned our home
number at 3 a.m. instead of Jack's (her boyfriend was at J's flat but
had left his house keys at her place). Gary was away at the time
and having bells ringing in the middle of the night was hardly the ideal
reminder for me, but his friend is a lovely girl who felt terrible when
she realised what she'd done, poor thing. The anniversary for Jack was
in his eyes a good occasion as it meant the year was finally up on his
driving licence being revoked. The morning after he picked his car
up, I happened to phone him about something and he was already in the
supermarket on his own doing his shopping. Typical Jack!
He's also happily settled in his flat plus working on
various different music-related projects. His heel still isn't
fully healed - these things take AGES to mend and he has to be very
careful - but he is now back to walking with two sticks some of the
time.
All for now, H. xx
UPDATE
Thur 13/2/03:
Well the relevant news is that last Friday evening, Rob
Townsend kindly stepped aside during the Blues Band gig at the Landmark
in Teddington, (near to where we live and where the benefit concert for
Jack was held not long after his accident), in order for Jack to play
drums on the number Steppin' Out. I was in the audience with some
friends and it was obviously a special moment not only for Gary &
myself, but I think for many others also. Several fans came up to
me afterwards and it was good to chat with them. There's a photo
on the Later Years page of this
site of Gary & Jack at the gig but it's not a good one so if anyone
reading this was there and happened to take any snaps, please let me
know (via [email protected])
Not much else to report as not a whole lot has changed in
Jack's life since my last update, other than that he's currently waiting
to hear whether he's got in to the university of his choice .... he's
hoping to start a music degree next autumn. In the meantime he's busily
involved in various music-related areas and is generally in good
spirits.
Hilary
UPDATE
Fri 4/4/03:
Well the boy done good. He's recently found out that he's
been accepted by Westminster University to start a Commercial Music
degree next autumn. We're all very pleased as the course is not only the
one he wanted to do most but was very hard to get into. In addition he
has friends already at the uni.
All for now,
Hilary
UPDATE
11/9/03
If anyone's still reading this, hello
there!
Well it's two years today since the
terrible events of 9/11, and of course also two years three days since
Jack's accident. Such a dreadful week for so many, but for us at least
thankfully it's not been an anniversary of our son's death.
Jack was back staying at the spinal unit
at the end of July having another major operation which went well and
has improved his situation to some extent. It was a stressful time
for Gary and myself (Jack took it all in his stride in his usual
nonplussed manner!) but as with everything that's gone before, we all
got through it. J. stayed with us for several weeks after he came
out (sleeping in his brother's room while he was away on holiday) and I
got to play nursemaid, changing dressings & whathaveyou ... a little bit
of last minute mothering before he starts uni NEXT WEEK! He's
really looking forward to the whole experience. He's also been
writing some cracking good music these last few weeks, and as his mum of
course I think the university is lucky to have him (only kidding ....
kind of!!)
I hestitate to say it, but after yet MORE
skin difficulties even after the new foot splint he was given some time
back, he is currently blister-free on his feet and looking forward to
FINALLY being able to do some regular walking without problems, albeit
still with two sticks although he does use one sometimes to carry his
guitar etc. He's had various experts from various hospitals trying
to help him with all this for a couple of months now, and we're all
daring to hope the problem is at last sorted, for the time being at any
rate.
Not long before his op Jack managed to
make some modifications to his bicycle and for a few weeks was sticking
the bike on the back of his car and visiting the park, sometimes
accompanied, sometimes not (aaaargh!!), and enjoying the freedom of the
open cycle path. He's promised us faithfully he won't use his bike on
the roads as we think this is just still too risky for him, but he does
want to! Well half-want to anyway. Thankfully, despite the very silly
and somewhat uncharacteristic mistake he made when he got up on the roof
with his mates that fateful night two years ago, he's not reckless by
nature and does have his head screwed on, especially now he's about to
come out of his teens - he's 21 next month.
Before his op disrupted things, the band
Jack plays drums in, Aphid, were finally getting back to gigging after
working a new guitarist in for several months, and the response was once
again very good. Hopefully they'll go from strength to strength from now
on.
Well I think that's enough from me for
now. Might see you at a BB gig sometime!
love H.
UPDATE
22/3/04
Well it's not been a fun couple of
months, I'm afraid. Unfortunately Jack had a setback on 1 February
when he suffered his first ever seizure. He was about to start a
recording session with his dad & some other musicians in our basement
studio when he suddenly seized up, fell, & lost consciousness. We
didn't know what it was to start with so were racked with panic thinking
we were losing him all over again, but after he began shaking and then
eventually coming to, it dawned on us that it could be a fit, especially
when we realised his tongue was bleeding. The paramedics who came out
were fantastic and off to hospital we all went.
I'm writing this seven weeks later and
Jack has had four fits in all during that time. It's all been very
stressful but he's now on medication which we're hoping will stabilise
him. The neurologist whose care he's been under has told us the CT scan
he had taken showed no new developments in his brain and the problem
seems to be as a result of old scar tissue combined with a student
lifestyle, ie alcohol, stress, tiredness etc. He can't drive for a
year from the date of his last fit, which has caused us all some
practical problems but we're getting round them. He's also fallen
behind with his studies at uni as a result of the after-effects of the
fits (tiredness mostly) & long days spent at hospital, but his tutors
are being understanding and helpful about it & he'll catch up in due
course.
Doesn't rain, eh?! :-)
H. xx
UPDATE
14/8/06
Hello everyone. This is just a short update to say
that Jack lasted the course and recently achieved a 2:1 with his music
degree. We're obviously very proud of him & his 'grit', but then we were
anyway ... the qualification is just icing on the cake! He's now
having a well-deserved rest before working out his next move.
H. xx
